My Dirty Little Secret

I have a dirty secret… It is something that I hate to admit to anyone, but yes, I do this crime multiple times and am still committing it over and over again.

NAIINGIT AKO.

Yup, that’s true.

• Naiinggit ako don sa fellow ESL teacher ko who happens to have the same age as mine but she’s earning 6 digits per month from freelancing.
• Naiinggit ako doon sa kakilala ko na may 20k followers na Facebook and Instagram, earning and providing food on the table from her digital content.
• Naiinggit ako don sa batchmate ko na may successful dessert business and parang every year nagkakaroon ng additional business pa sya despite having little kids.

At ako, *self-pity* eto lost, confuse, questioning, “bakit ang pait, ang alat naman ng swerte ko?”

So I step back a little and stop sneaking and prying on other people’s lives, then start doing what I think is needed to go further from where I am currently.

Hindi naman talaga sila basta swerte lang, talagang masipag din sila at malakas ang loob. I am sure before they jumped into doing the things they are doing right now for sure natakot din sila, like me.

Kaya narealized ko, hindi talaga tama na mainggit kasi sa tuwing naiinggit tayo para na rin natingkini-kwesyon kung deserve ba nila yung achievements nila.

Narealized ko na they really deserve their achievements because they are hardworking and they are diligent. Ang difference between us? They #PressOn towards their goals, while ako, humihinto, napaparalyzed tuwing dinadaga at nilalamon ng takot.

I realized that my inggit are rooted from my fears.

Takot kasi akong magfail.

Gusto ko kasi sa first attempt ko homerun agad.

Feeling ko kasi this is my last ball on free throw kaya ayokong magmintis.

Without realizing may next season pa pala ng game at may another league pa just in case

So slowly, little by little, i-o-overcome ko yung fears ko, para next time di na ako maiingit.

Di ko na sasabihin na “buti pa sila successful na, ako eto pa din.”

Tara, let’s divert our attention, from inggit to facing our fears, unti-unti di natin mamamalayan may nararating na pala tayo. :)

#Fight